I reached out to my siblings in hopes that they would talk to Connie about putting me back on antidepressants because she in unreasonable and doesn’t listen to me. I was scared to even reach out to them, but it was necessary…

The thing is brothers doctor said usually with mental issues you can prescribe similar medicine to siblings. So herego my older brother has depression and I can be put on whatever he is taking. I don’t know if it will work, but a month trial should tell. I look forward with hope, because it’s up to me to start doing what’s best for me even if it takes negotiating with the lady who gave birth to me. 

Counseling has never helped because I have no solid reason to be depressed. I just am for no reason, it also turns out the more kids you have the more likeliehood to have mental illness. I have eight brothers and two sisters. That explain it for you all?

Hopefully, I will not have to rely on music, on people, on trivial things to keep me happy. There is only so much edgy music I can listen to, to help lol. Hopefully I won’t have to focus as hard on it and I will just live my life like a somewhat normal human being. I know this is really overly optimistic, but my hopes are really up there. For my future..I could actually make it past 12th grade…as dark as it is I never saw myself graduating high school. I could have more overall motivation to make it through all of this…

Coincidently it turns out the medicine he takes Wellbutrin also helps ease people out of smoking habits so it’s like a double win! 🙂 

Thank you brother. I love you so much.