I miss you. I think about you every single day and the worst part is you don’t even care. You don’t even want me. Not anymore. You don’t want to tolerate being hurt anymore by me. I understand because I too am done tolerating people putting me down. I want to say that I’ve changed into a better person and it’s safe to associate with me again, but I know it isn’t. I know I still do all the things that I used to do.

You go out and you get drunk with your friends and you have fun at parties now. You’re social and awesome and everybody wants to be around you because you’re the most fun person to talk to. I should know how many countless hours have I spent Skyping you? We used to skype practically every single day. I used to know everything about you. And I keep dwelling on it because I’m messed up and I can’t find peace.

And after awhile the numbness set in. I stopped trying. I stopped apologizing because you don’t listen anyways.  You think I’m too toxic. I agree…I am.